Will I stay? Or will I go?

I moved to Shanghai, China just over a month ago.

I will be back in Minnesota next week. And then to Vegas for a long weekend. The Vegas trip was planned long ago. It is to celebrate my brother’s 50th birthday. 

I do not have a ticket to return to China. 

I left corporate America to make this move. What have I been doing with my time? Reading, writing, doing research, and trying to get used to the heat.

While I have enjoyed setting my own schedule, working for myself; there is a downside. For the first time in my adult life I am not going to an office every day. This means I really need to make an effort to meet people. There is an unofficial/unorganized 3M expat group, and I have met a few people that way.

I’ve been to events sponsored by the American Club Shanghai and the Shanghai Expat Association, but it is summer and lots of trailing spouses are back in the US. I’ve made a few acquaintances, but have not made any friends yet. I know this takes time, especially for an introvert, but spending too much time alone is one of my biggest challenges.

One of the reasons I agreed to move to China was so I could travel. I made my first trip – a long weekend in Tokyo – but Japan is suffering through abnormally high temperatures. I spent as much time inside as possible, as the heat really drains my energy. Please see my previous blog post for additional details on this trip. My next non-US trip isn’t planned yet, but I am close. G’day mate! (That is your hint.)

I brought two diet Mountain Dews with me from the US. I recently drank the first one. It was easier to forget about my habit than I thought it would be. Maybe I won’t even want to drink the other one.

I miss home. I miss my dad, my brothers, and lots of other family. I miss my dog and my cats. I miss my house and my Target. I miss my friends.

The language barrier is really frustrating. I have practiced some with my limited Mandarin. But my ability to speak a little does NOT mean I can understand what people say in response to my requests or questions. My tutor asked me this week if I wanted to learn how to read Chinese, and I rolled my eyes out loud. I need to spend more time practicing. I know this. My tutor knows this.

My first month has been a struggle. I sometimes think I am in danger of becoming a recluse, but I know as soon as the heat breaks some I will be outside as much as possible. I love the park across the street from my apartment. I love riding bikes and how easy and cheap it is to do that in Shanghai. I will get busy with the expat groups in September. There is so much more of the city that I want to explore. Fall is my favorite season, and I am excited for it arrive here.

I know I have the potential to be happy and healthy in Shanghai. I will return in late August or early September. 

The main reason I haven’t booked my next ticket back to China is because I am now missing a front tooth. (Most of it anyway – just a small, discolored nub is left – the result of knocking out the baby tooth as a child.) I tried to have my veneer replaced with a crown right before I moved here, but the new crown didn’t fit well so my dentist sent it back to the lab. Instead of delaying moving here, we decided to wait on the new tooth since I already had a trip scheduled back to Minnesota. But if that new crown doesn’t fit, I am not returning to China until I have a fully functioning tooth. I was given a temporary, but that fell out a couple of weeks ago. It is inconvenient to not have a proper front tooth.

There are things about living in Shanghai that drive me crazy, but I need to give it more time before I make a final decision.

4 thoughts on “Will I stay? Or will I go?

  1. Karen

    I love reading about the experiences you are having! And I agree, take some more time – it takes a while to get adjusted. There will be good days and hard days – hopefully the good days will start to become more frequent. Soak it all in! It’s an experience of a lifetime.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jacquie Plaschko

    I’ll come stay with you and we can be visit crazy places togther. You will have a good friend by your side the whole time!! Seriously, give it more time. See how the fall is and don’t get overly frustrated with yourself. It sounds like a wonderful experience.

    Liked by 1 person

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